Error

Last night, I dreamt of people that have bailed out from my life.

The scene was at an old church. The Filipino priest had a mullet hair and was mean to me. I was looking for my assigned seat when he called my attention. Most people were seated already, and the priest and his entourage were waiting for the start of the  procession which meant the mass hadn't started yet.

I got mad. I scowled at him, and told him, "You are a servant of God, and why are you behaving like you aren't? You are in His house. Why are you disrespecting him?"

Then I walked away before he could answer me. I continued walking towards the other side of the church.

I saw the mister at Pew D, which is about 3 pews away from the pianist and the church choir. Seats were assigned base on the first letter of your last name. When I was nearing him, I saw all the people that walked away from my life, L,J, N, and A--- all of them were sitting in the same pew with him.

The seat was tight, but I managed to squeeze in. I sat beside him at the first space nearest the aisle. I wasn't really ready to chit-chat with all those people or even say a fake hello, but I looked at each one of them in the eye.

Well, I tried.

L was laughing awkwardly with J and A, and N just looked down when I came.

I was disappointed that they sat at pew D when all of them weren't assigned in that pew. And also, they were noisy. They were talking and laughing with each other except for N. He just looked down the whole time.

When the Holy Mass started, I saw a distant cousin, Jerry. He came from the back of the altar, walking towards our pew.  He was bringing a collection woven basket with a sign attached at the front that boldly said, "ERROR."

That was the end of my dream.

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In my reality:

J - Last time I heard from her was when her mother died. She just stopped communicating, and avoided me from that time on.

N - I haven't talked with him since last quarter of last year. His last words hurled towards me came with an F word (READ: rhymes with DUCK). He said his life had been very peaceful until I reached out.

L - She deleted me from her Facebook friends' list because I am still communicating with her brother. She loathed him. She unflinchingly threatened to kill him numerous times. Their clash is between them, and I have nothing to do with it. She is powered by the scorching heat from hell.

A - She had a different take on how to handle things. She could have handled it differently. Instead of talking it out, she opted to walk away because she was too proud to leave her gargantuan ego at the door.

I approached all of them at one point in my life, and I really tried to talk to them to settle whatever misunderstandings we had. I swallowed my pride, and tried my hardest to close the gap, and hopefully avoid further estrangement.

I didn't walk away. I didn't bail.

They did.