November 3, 2021

 I had the most uninterrupted sleep last night in a very long time. 

My dream felt like an event, and I found it extremely amusing.

You see, in that dream, I am one of Tom Cruise's best friends. In fact, he knew some Bisaya words already. He can also pick up some words when I talk to my kids and the mister in our dialect. 

Yes, that's how close we were.

Tom and a few of our friends were invited to an event. Two people that I knew were also there. They weren't really on the list, but they were the "plus one."

I saw the disgust on his face when they greeted him. 

Obviously, he doesn't like them because he hates ladies who threw themselves at him.

When that gathering ended at 10:30 p.m., Tom invited a few of the people in the party to his yacht. He limited it to strictly 12 people only, and between the two ladies, I asked who was not invited.

 "Lil, let's kick out big suso (boobs) from the list."

I laughed so hard when he gave me that answer. We have names for some people we know that we kind of don't like and are not fond of. Big suso is one of them.

Error

Last night, I dreamt of people that have bailed out from my life.

The scene was at an old church. The Filipino priest had a mullet hair and was mean to me. I was looking for my assigned seat when he called my attention. Most people were seated already, and the priest and his entourage were waiting for the start of the  procession which meant the mass hadn't started yet.

I got mad. I scowled at him, and told him, "You are a servant of God, and why are you behaving like you aren't? You are in His house. Why are you disrespecting him?"

Then I walked away before he could answer me. I continued walking towards the other side of the church.

I saw the mister at Pew D, which is about 3 pews away from the pianist and the church choir. Seats were assigned base on the first letter of your last name. When I was nearing him, I saw all the people that walked away from my life, L,J, N, and A--- all of them were sitting in the same pew with him.

The seat was tight, but I managed to squeeze in. I sat beside him at the first space nearest the aisle. I wasn't really ready to chit-chat with all those people or even say a fake hello, but I looked at each one of them in the eye.

Well, I tried.

L was laughing awkwardly with J and A, and N just looked down when I came.

I was disappointed that they sat at pew D when all of them weren't assigned in that pew. And also, they were noisy. They were talking and laughing with each other except for N. He just looked down the whole time.

When the Holy Mass started, I saw a distant cousin, Jerry. He came from the back of the altar, walking towards our pew.  He was bringing a collection woven basket with a sign attached at the front that boldly said, "ERROR."

That was the end of my dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In my reality:

J - Last time I heard from her was when her mother died. She just stopped communicating, and avoided me from that time on.

N - I haven't talked with him since last quarter of last year. His last words hurled towards me came with an F word (READ: rhymes with DUCK). He said his life had been very peaceful until I reached out.

L - She deleted me from her Facebook friends' list because I am still communicating with her brother. She loathed him. She unflinchingly threatened to kill him numerous times. Their clash is between them, and I have nothing to do with it. She is powered by the scorching heat from hell.

A - She had a different take on how to handle things. She could have handled it differently. Instead of talking it out, she opted to walk away because she was too proud to leave her gargantuan ego at the door.

I approached all of them at one point in my life, and I really tried to talk to them to settle whatever misunderstandings we had. I swallowed my pride, and tried my hardest to close the gap, and hopefully avoid further estrangement.

I didn't walk away. I didn't bail.

They did.

Hi

A few nights ago, I went to a hospital built in bamboo slats and woven palm-leaf roof. There was just one doctor on duty, and he was attending to a wounded boy lying on a canvas cot with carved wooden base. There was also a nurse but she was talking with another patient inside the hut hospital.

While I was there, I got so scared. I wanted to run but I couldn't. I don't know why. There were a lot of snakes there, their heads popping out between spaces of the bamboo slat floor. Most of them were as fat as my thumb. I understood they were still baby snakes, but still... they were snakes. I wanted to get out of that hospital but was too scared to step outside in the dark and find more.

The doctor pointed his index finger towards one corner of the hut. There, I found the freakin' mother snake! The body was as big as the trunk of a coconut tree. The head was barely attached from the body. The enormous reptile was dead.

I felt relieved. Kind of.

No. I take that back. I was so relieved that it was just a dream. I woke up, and when I saw the mister still fast asleep beside me my breathing was more relaxed.

The Dream

This morning, I woke up from one of the  most beautiful dreams. I told myself I'd write about it on this blog.

I remember it vividly, even my emotional state. I felt it.

I didn't get out of bed right away, but instead waited for the mister fixing himself up for work. I usually change after he leaves so I don't crowd our small bathroom upstairs when he's using it too.

While having our breakfast, I told the mister that I had a dream. And then, I  realized that I could not string together the series of events and the details anymore.

No matter how much I squeezed my brain out, those images were fleeting. What was left was the feeling.

...the feeling that I was so happy.

BFF 2nd To The Throne

I woke up very early that beautiful day in early fall. It's probably the first ever in a very long time. I haven't done it since the boy went to college. I had to fix breakfast and pack lunch early for the mister and I, plus the ensemble of the day isn't a pair of old jorts, vintage shirts, and sneakers anymore. I had to fix my face and hair, and dress up in office clothes.

You see, it was my first day on a new job. I just got hired as a new marketing manager for a luxury Italian fashion brand with its US HQ near Rockville.

I was scared and on top of that, I am also nervous. I had a hard time swallowing my coffee earlier. It's been over 20 years since I worked in the corporate world. From the time we moved from the Philippines two decades ago, I've never been employed and just concentrated on parenting my two children. They're adults now and are out of the house.

I wore my new midnight blue velvet double breasted blazer and matching tapered trousers over a thrifted pink Gucci pussy bow button down top. I also wore, for the first time, a pair of diamond stud earrings that the mister gifted me a day after I got offered for the job.

That suit? It was love at first sight when I saw it at an online boutique. The mister told me to buy it. Afterall, this will be my first suit after how many decades. I told him I don't want to spend that kind of money, but he secretly bought it while I was asleep. I was so surprised when it arrived the other week.

I also chose a vintage burgundy eel skin large open tote. I was so happy to find a burgundy suede T-strap kitten heels too at DSW, a shoe store at the mall the other Saturday.

Gee, I was dressed to the nines that day. I scoured all my favorite online shops, consignment shops, and thrift stores in our town for weeks for this new choice of wardrobe.

I walked towards the subway. By the way, I had one ear bud on and was listening to Encyclopedia Botanica's podcast from last year about gardening. It was about fall vegetables and when to plant them.

Didn't really mind the other early commuters until someone called, "TITA!"

For my non-Filipino readers, Tita is Auntie in English but also used to call someone older close to you, like the mother of your friend or friends of your parents. It's disrespect in Filipino culture to call someone older by their first names.

I kept walking.

"TITA LILI!"

I looked around and saw Vince with his girlfriend. She's carrying a baby, maybe about 8 to 10 months old.

Vince is Yna's BFF second to the throne. Sammy, her best friend from elementary school is the first. It's been probably 3 years since we last saw each other but I've never met his girlfriend. She didn't look happy when she saw me. But she willingly handed me the baby when I reached both of my hands out signaling her if I could carry him.

The baby wore a two piece off white Velour baby track suit. It matched with the color of Vince's knitted crewneck long sleeves.

"Where's your mommy?"

The baby pointed to Vince's girlfriend.

"Where's your daddy?"

...and the baby just ignored what I said. So I asked for the second time where's his mommy. Again, he'd point to his mommy. But when I'd asked about his daddy, he would ignore my question again. Vince and I would just laugh so hard when he'd do it.

He was teasing his father.

Our meeting was quick because I feared missing my train. I didn't want to be late for my first day of work.

Vince didn't introduce me to his girlfriend, and even forgot to tell me if his baby was a boy or a girl. I only noticed that the baby looked exactly like him. I presumed it was a boy. I also remember his girlfriend never cracked a smile the whole time.

I walked faster as I could. I heard the train coming, and I still have to run down a long flight of stairs.

Oh sh*t!

I tripped just as I was about to step down on the last two steps of the concrete stairs.

Then I opened my eyes and felt the mister pulling my big toe. He had his hair fixed already, and he wore his denim button down JCrew long sleeves that I freshly ironed the night before. He was ready to go down in the kitchen for our morning latte.

It's the last Thursday of September. It's almost 10 a.m.

I was so chic in my dream. Wished I could keep the clothes I wore that day, including the blinding huge diamond stud earrings.

By the way, I don't have a new job, but I have been employed part-time for four times since we moved to America 20 years ago. I have been planning to listen to Enclopedia Botanica's podcasts, but have not done it yet.There is no subway in Rockville. But Vince is a real person, and it's true that he's the young lady's best male friend, but not her BFF second to the throne. Hehehehe. It's also true that he has a girlfriend that I heard about from the young lady. I've never met him but only from across the street when he dropped the young lady at home one time. We follow each other though on Instagram. I've never met his girlfriend too, they don't have a baby, and he doesn't call me 'Tita.'

What a crazy dream!

The Dream

It's nightfall, and I was sitting in our living room with my legs crossed resting in our 1970s pineapple yellow ottoman. My mother had that ottoman custom-made when I was about 4 years old. It still looked brand new. Then my old grandmother, Lola Daday passed by. She didn't notice me sitting across the piano. I just observed her walking by. It seemed like she's feeling cold. She was wearing her pink cardigan with rose embroidery at the front over her old rose colored floral dress with elastic waist. I also noticed her beaded slip-on slippers. I always love her footwear but she has been telling me that they're for old people only. I kept telling myself that one day when I grow old I'd really buy a pair for me.

I don't know why I didn't stand up to help her, and just kept on looking at her. She was slowly guiding herself going towards the room near the entrance door in the living room by holding the wooden stair rail, the piano and the walls. She has cataract in both eyes. My father and his siblings wanted for her to have her eye surgery but she's hesitant to go about it. She's terrified to go under the knife.

Just as Lola Daday opened the bedroom door, my father came into the living room too. He came from the kitchen to feed our dogs. He was wearing a white cotton sando (tank top), a pair of cut-off faded jeans, and a pair of rubber slippers. I have the same slippers, and the same color too--red plastic X-strap with off white rubber sole. It's so warm this summer. He was dripping with sweat.  He just arrived last week from his 9 months of work in a far away place where everything in sight is snow and ice. He's a seaman. I guess his body has a hard time adjusting to the summer heat of the Philippines. The no. 4 setting of our old 1978 green electric fan is still warm for him. I can see the heat rash on his legs and arms. I am sure there's more on his back.

Surprisingly, he didn't go out today with his friend who lives next door, Nong Ding. They are best mahjong buddies, and their birthdays also fall on the same day, except he's way younger than my father.

As I was observing them passing by me, I had this feeling of missing them. It seemed like it has been years since the last time I've seen both of them. I really wonder why I felt that way when in fact they just passed by me. They're both in the house at this very moment.

Then, I felt a light pinch on my nose. I opened my eyes. The mister woke me up, and he's all ready for work.

It was just a dream that I was in my childhood home, and my fraternal grandmother and father were still alive. My father left the physical world in 2005. My Lola (grandmother) left a couple of years earlier.

I really felt nostalgic today. I remember I was praying last night, and I also talked to them about a wish I prayed for. I even talked to my father-in-law who celebrated his birthday the other day; my grandfathers; my other grandmother and even to Alan. That wish isn't for me, but for someone else.

Was that dream meant that they heard me?

My Reality is Better Than my Dream

I met a doctor, and we became really close as friends. His name is Doctor Mercado. He's so much older than me, and is quite famous in the Philippines. Despite our age difference, we have many common interests, including a love of travel, movies, music, and vintage fashion. I've learnt so much from him, not just about medicine, but also about life, relationships and achieving one's goals.

In one of his talks in one of the big universities in Manila, I tagged along with him with my camera. One of the famous stars was in attendance too. She's a client and a friend of the doctor, Maine Mendoza, the other half of Aldub. She shared about her own journey in the entertainment industry, inspiring many students with her story of perseverance.

After the talk, students took turns for photo ops with the two. Maine liked to have a photo taken with me and the doctor before we parted ways for the day, so I asked one student to take photos of us using my camera. 

I remembered the face of the male student vividly, but he vanished from the bunch of students who remained with the others. He simply disappeared with my camera.

Oh! The horror!

Everyone left but me. I looked for my camera all over the campus. It was getting dark already, and the place was calmly getting deserted. That's just the polar opposite of how I was feeling inside, I was frantically panicking. I can't lose my camera. Aside from it being a Leica, the memory card was close to full of memories I took on our trips to Williamsburg and Richmond, Virginia; California; and Arizona.

I was mad at myself for being too trusting. I held that camera with extreme care for eight years. It was a gift from the mister. The campus was so dark already, and I slowly walked towards the guardhouse when the light turned on in front of me.

I opened my eyes. I saw the mister opening the curtain to let the light come into the room. It's past noon, and I am still in bed. I don't know how long he spent his time on the trail, but the mister is back from biking.

Phew! It was just a dream!



"Jay, nawa akong camera sa akong damgo!" (I lost my camera in my dream.), I told him immediately.

The mister is used to hearing the weird, enjoyable, and colorful stories from my dreams. Then he asked me, "Ganahan ka ug kape?" (You want coffee?)

The mister bought a half dozen of freshly made Duck Donuts too.


The donut sprinkled with bacon bits got me excited.

*sigh! I am just glad that losing my camera was just a dream, and I am happier to wake up with coffee and donuts. I donut remember the last time I had one.

P.S. I slept so late last night watching Project Runway All Stars and Hollywood Medium with Tyler Henry. Since religiously following a schedule of at least seven to nine hours of sleep every night for over three years, I guess sleeping so late was probably a result of that dream. hehehe.

By the way, I don't know a Doctor Mercado, and I don't follow Aldub, but I saw a photo of Maine in one of the Filipino news magazines online before I went to sleep. I did not read the article about her ,though.