Today is one of those days that I wanted to be alone, disconnected, and invisible, maybe.
Wednesday, June 5, 2024
Ugh!
Tuesday, October 12, 2021
October 11, 2021
I haven't done much today, but bake.
I made eggplant parmesan and I'm not so impressed with this recipe. I should have followed my go-to recipe by Jamie Oliver.
After that, I baked Leche Flan cake, which thankfully got a 10-star rating by the boy. He's not really generous with his ratings and usually the highest I get is an 8. This time, it's a 10.
There were 6 egg white discards from the cake, and I decided to utilize them for Meringue Cookies. I added a couple of drops of red food coloring to make them look pink. Not for Philippine political candidate inclination, but because I had only red food coloring in my stash. Besides that, pink is the official color for October's breast cancer awareness month.
I wanted to plant more tulips and clean spent plants in the backyard, but couldn't find the time to squeeze that in.
Tomorrow is shipping day for my online orders from last weekend and today. Usually, I ship on Mondays but today is a federal holiday.
So, tomorrow is another busy day for me. Hopefully, I can do some gardening after my trip to the post office before it closes for the day.
Thursday, July 15, 2021
So tired!
Woke up 2 hours earlier than usual today for a meeting.
It went well.
Came home right after to start my work for the day at my office in the basement. Truthfully, my mind was willing but the body felt so tired. The couch in the family room was calling me, but I still dragged myself to water our garden.
After that, I laid down, and tried to listen to a podcast. Although I still wanted to go to work, but I just didn't have the energy for that.
True enough, I wasn't able to do anything at work today.
I probably slept most of the day.
I hated it.
Tomorrow, even if it hasn't come, I am claiming that I'd get my energy back.
Tuesday, July 6, 2021
HOT!
I got out of bed earlier than usual to feed our cats, and water our plants.
Although I watered them yesterday morning, today was just too hot.
The temperature was about 100°F (about 37°C).
I didn't really want to go out, but I had to ship items today since it was a federal holiday yesterday.
I had to ship 9 items, but thankful that the mister helped me pack 1 order. I just don't have patience to pack 5 fragile items----a set of 5 small mini speakers going to California.
I was so busy packing and shipping, that I forgot to harvest the early bulam (avocado squash) that is ready for picking.
I guess, I'll do it tomorrow. I just hope it wouldn't be scorching hot tomorrow. Again.
Tuesday, June 22, 2021
Monday
I baked bread on Sunday evening until the wee hours of Monday. I wanted to sleep in but I had to ship items to customers today, and one was an urgent order going to San Francisco. The customer needed this 1980s Aggie Georgette for Chordas US-made leather blazer for Saturday.
The mister also had an early online meeting, so we had our coffee so close to lunch, and paired it with the bread I baked last night.
By the way, I made Ube-filled Soft Buns topped with butter, sugar, and cheese.
Before we had lunch, I watered the plants. I wished I did it earlier in the day because I didn't water them on Sunday. I was expecting rain yesterday afternoon till evening, but it didn't come. Some of the okra I transplanted last Saturday looked like they desperately needed a drink.
This is the second year that I have been growing squash vertically. The white flowers on the side are carrot flowers.
The mister and I came back from the post office when it started to rain before 5 pm. It poured so hard when we came into the house.
The poor Amazon delivery guy waited in his truck until the rain became gentle enough for him to deliver the package meant for our next door neighbor.Thursday, October 22, 2020
Disability
I hate when people makes fun of people with disability. I hate it when some people called names.
I even hated some friends and relatives when they call the previous Philippine President Benigno Aquino. Jr. as 'Abnoy' (Abnormal). How low would you go! Most of these people go to church regularly. Calling a person names is for me very mean, 'unChristian', so juvenile, and unintelligent.
There is this one person who has been sending me messages and sharing posts via Facebook messenger about how great the person in the White House is. I knew him through the mister.
I disagree with him, but I didn't argue with him. I thought it was a waste of time.
In my 48 years of existence, I have learned to never argue with his kind.
He kept on shoving his opinion down my throat, but I kept ignoring him.
I haven't been replying to his messages anymore from the time I told him that I have different views politically. I also told him to stop sending me posts about his choice of political party. I am not into Political Parties. It's either you choose GOOD or EVIL, and to some, who's the lesser evil vs the devil.
I respect his level of intelligence, and in many levels I am not impressed. I tried to give considerations though, but he just didn't leave a mark.
A few minutes ago, he sent me a message again, and he was laughing about Former VP Joe Biden's stutter. I think he was watching the debate.
This time, I answered him back.
"You can not make fun of people and their disability. Thank God I am not like you, or else I would have been making fun of your disability the moment I knew how dark your heart is."
"What disability?!" He was very surprised!
"Your face! It matches your heart! It's just exceptional!
It's exceptionally ugly! Now, let me tell you this... I did not make fun of you. I was just being honest. Bye."
He didn't unfriend me yet, or block me on Facebook. I just couldn't imagine calling him a friend. To be considerate, maybe just someone I know.
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
I Need a Picker Upper
That's what I told the boy yesterday.
On Monday I went in for my immunotheraphy. I was told I was due for my shots again in 3 weeks.
Yehey!
For awhile it was done every week. I honestly don't mind the pinches of 4 needles, and then feeling the pain, then holding myself from itching my red, swollen and hot arms after. I just don't like going out of the house.
I haven't been feeling my best self for 2 days. I didn't have fever, but I felt tired, and sleepy.
After I had my coffee and Spanish bread yesterday morning, I fell asleep in the living room. I didn't go to work at all.
I felt the boy putting a blanket on me. Then I felt his head resting gently on my leg.
"I need a picker upper, 'doy!"
"Have an iced coffee, Ma." he suggested.
Honestly, nothing in mind made me get so excited--- not even the idea of gardening, having a cup of Joe, sewing, thrifting, going to the fabric store, or watching an uninterrupted KDrama.
In the afternoon, I felt the same. My natural pretty and energetic self was just so elusive.
Then just after dinner, the universe brought it back.
I sold 8 vintage items worth $500 from 2 of my online stores. That is 1900% profit.
The chaching chaching got me so excited. That is indeed a wonderful picker upper.
Today, I woke up early to ship 8 items. Although the boy offered his help, but I declined. I had to because no one else really knows how to do my job, not even the mister. It is a one woman show.
In a world full of millions of choices, these buyers from all over the world bought an item from me--- just a speck of dust within the online world.
And with that, I am truly blessed, and sincerely grateful.
Friday, September 13, 2019
The Unsocial Butterfly
I honestly didn't want to go with the mister right away, and wanted to stay for another 6 months since I enjoyed my job as a college art instructor at a local university in our city. I was struggling as a new teacher, but I was up for the challenge.
But I had no choice, and resigned before the new school year started in 1998. It would be too selfish and inconsiderate of me not to come with him when it would be his first time coming to this part of the world too. I guess it would be exciting as well to experience new things together.
For many months, it was mainly the mister and me, and our little girl. Although, there were a few occasions where we were invited to parties in Virginia, but I haven't bonded with any of the people I met there. I only talk to a few, and it was always only at the party.
Those first few months, it felt like we were groping in the dark. We didn't even know where to buy mongo beans. Finding ingredients for our Filipino dishes was a dilemma. Didn't even know that mongo is mung bean in America, and is sold in all American groceries in the grain aisle.
Imagine eating fried fish without Silver Swan soy sauce mixed with Datu Puti white vinegar as a dipping sauce? That meal came up short!
We celebrated our first white Christmas and New Year together just the 3 of us. The neighborhood we lived in was eerily quiet--a polar opposite of how the holidays was celebrated in the Philippines.
That was sad!
In the coming months, the feeling turned homey and comfortable. That was because there were more Filipino families in the company. Many of them became our neighbors.
I felt adjusted because we weren't alone. Not anymore.
Those were the days when we were fresh off the boat.
Two decades later, a number of those Filipinos left the company. Some moved to different states. Some of them I lost contact with, but a number of them have remained friends with us.
Four weeks ago, I don't know why but I was overjoyed when I saw several of Leo and the mister's former colleagues, together with their wives who came for Tita Mila's funeral services. I genuinely admired them for being there.
You know those people who make time to sympathize when a former colleague and a friend is in mourning, that's admirable. These people can just send their messages over the phone or through emails, but no, they didn't. They allotted their precious time to be there.
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| Janet, Fe, and I (the wives of the mister's former colleagues on August 16 after Tita Mila's funeral service) |
These are people that I have not seen for years. When they were with the company, I used to see them in company events twice a year.
I was so glad we had a chance to chit chat, and most of all I am extremely happy where they are in their lives now.
Some of those Filipino families that we met earlier in America have became very close towards each other, and created a close-knit group. However, the mister and I created our own group. It's just him and me and our kids.
This is maybe because I can honestly say that I immensely love my own company, and that I am okay not in a group. I love being at home lost in a book, enjoying a movie, alone in my garden, or studying and taking notes for new recipes to try. I honestly don't feel bad when I am not invited to parties--I don't have to make and bake food to bring, and don't have to find something to wear.
I think I am a floater. I can enjoy the company of others, and I hope they also love mine, but not necessarily an active member of a barkadahan (clique). Just like a butterfly, but is perfectly fine without socializing.
But early this week, I learned that I became an honorary member of a core group. I didn't apply. They just embraced me, and it caught me by surprise.
Hihihihi. This is a first.
Monday, August 26, 2019
What Do I Want?
At the party, one lady was happily sharing to another that she now owns a Louis Vuitton bag. Her son gave it to her. To be honest about it, she asked for it. Hehehe. Well, actually she gave him hints for a long time until he gave in. But honestly, she deserved the gift.
Another lady who sat nearby said out loud that she also needs to remind her son about a Louis Vuitton bag for her birthday.
I don't know if this is Filipino behavior, but I have heard parents strongly suggesting for their children to give their first paycheck to their parents, even build them houses. Some even asked their working children to remit paychecks until they get married. Some just ask for expensive gifts, cruise trips, or an all expenses paid vacation abroad.
I was asked, not at this particular party, what I wanted from my daughter since the young lady is earning very well already.
"I'm different than most. I don't want to ask anything that involves spending money. I don't want anything luxury. I just don't want any of my children to spend things that honestly aren't a need for me. All I really want from them aren't material. Now that they're older, and independent, I just want them to be nicer, to be kinder, to be more considerate and accepting, and to be more giving. I want them to treat all of the people they meet along their journey right. I want them to nurture relationships that matter. I will not be in control of all their actions and decisions outside our home, but I just simply want them to embody that they were nurtured by great parents. That is all I want from them. Then that for me, even just a stay-at-home mother, and even without having a career, I am genuinely successful."
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Me vs the Mister
When I came out OF the bathroom,
"Papi, don't be surprised that your toothbrush is wet. I accidentally put toothpaste on it but I rinse it right away. I didn't use it all."
Ooops! I lied.
"Oh! That's okay. I also use your toothbrush by mistake multiple times!"
Hahahaha! He told me the truth. I lied and until now, I left it like that---that I didn't use his brush.
Kids, don't lie. Don't be like me.
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
Blue Skies
I was done with my errand in downtown, and parked my car about half a mile away from my destination so I could have my daily walk. It would be a waste if I wouldn't take advantage of the 65°F temperature in winter.
The boy and Christian, his best friend, were in downtown but we didn't go together. They walked from Christian's house to the park, then to downtown. We saw each other on my way to the car. I had to go to the Asian Supermarket to buy supplies for dinner, although I wished I could walk more.
While driving and waiting for the green light near the park, I saw someone familiar walking with maybe her boyfriend heading towards downtown.
The moment I saw an opportunity to stop and park my car, I called the boy on my phone but he didn't pick up. I called his best friend.
"Christian, tell Jason that I saw his former bff walking and is heading towards downtown too."
"Should I be jealous? Hehehe."
"No! That's why she's a former bff because we don't want her and the rest of her family in our life anymore."
Good riddance!
They were like dark clouds, and when they disappeared in our lives, there were blue skies.
As I said, it was a beautiful day yesterday.
Friday, January 11, 2019
Wednesday, January 9 at 9 pm
But, I had to ship items for my customers which I planned to drop at the post office after the appointment.
I was just too tired and too lazy to get all the sold items from our 'warehouse' (read: basement), recheck for flaws, pack and print shipping labels.
..and then, it came to me.
"Oh my God! I prayed for this!"In a world with billions and billions of choices, these customers from different parts of the world chose to buy from me. These people doesn't know me at all.
I prayed constantly when I started selling online---that I get sales everyday.
So, I wore my CEO pantie on, went downstairs, perked myself up, and finished what I had to do.
Update: January 10 at 10:05 PM, I got notifications that all the items shipped today has started tracking.
Wednesday, November 28, 2018
Hi
Prepared a little feast for the four of us on Thursday, and just lounged after dinner.
I still haven't decorated our home. I might start doing it today after dinner.
Been busy with our e-shops for the past days, and I really think customer service needs a lot of patience especially at this time of the year. But they're nothing I can handle with grace with great help from the mister, the young lady, and the little sister down under.
While at work, I have been glued to The Dodo YouTube channel. I stopped tuning in to Raffy Tulfo in Action because I am caught up already with even the old episodes.
With The Dodo videos, it makes me feel good and excited. Nothing stressful, and no drama at all.
This was the cutest video that I totally paid attention today. I meant I glued my eyes to my laptop for the whole video.
Got to go! Need to go back to work for another 45 minutes, and I am off for the day. Will start preparing dinner soon, and hopefully start decorating after.
Hope you had a wonderful, cozy and warm Thanksgiving celebration.
I heart you for stopping by.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Professional Recycler
He looked at me. I didn't even bother to crack a smile because I was in a hurry to go home and start dinner. The boy was coming home for the weekend.
But I noticed the clerk again when I went to a different aisle where the fresh plum tomatoes were displayed. He slowly walked towards me. I had no choice but smiled.
"Are you Filipino?"
I said yes, and he added he was from the Tagalog region back in the Philippines. I thought he was maybe Vietnamese or Thai.
Then, the short chit-chat turned to....
"What do you do?" he asked. I didn't need to ask him of his. Obviously, he was a stock clerk at the fresh produce.
I had second thoughts on telling him the truth. Most of the time, when people learn that I sell things, they'd recruit me to be in a pyramid networking 'business.' But eventually, I replied.
"I sell very old things online. 20 years old and older. Like those kinds."
Immediately, he replied, "What kind of work is that? Why did you choose that?" He kind of laughed sarcastically.
"That kind of work is uncertain." he added.
"Anong klaseng trabaho 'yan? Bakit ganyan ang pinili mo? 'yang ganyang klase, walang kasiguraduhan yan!"I was pissed, but still I answered him.
"Aren't most things uncertain? Health! Careers! Our lives! Relationships! Even marriages!"Good thing his phone rang, and he answered it without excusing himself.
I just gestured to him that I needed to continue shopping.
He caught up with me in the fresh button mushroom aisle.
Oh sh**t! I don't want to chat with him anymore.
"Where do you get your supplies to sell?" he asked.
I told him that people call me to check their closets or sometimes friends drop their unwanted old things for me to sell.
In fact, our neighbor Nancy dropped some of her beautiful old things days earlier.
But with my reply, he wasn't satisfied. He wanted details about where I get all my vintage goods. What kind, the brands, and other processes I do for the business.
Of course, I just tell him that I sell anything old, and that I am a professional recyler.
Why would I tell him everything?
It's my trade secret, and besides, it felt like he looked down on what I do.
I love what I do, and I hope he loves his work too.
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Home
Usually, he would tell his father early in the week when he plans to go home on the weekend.
The mister would be home so late in the evening that I knew he'd be tired from work, so I offered to drive in going to Baltimore. That's about an hour of driving in the rain on the freeway.
I do not hate long drives except when I am on the wheel, and hate it more when it's during the evening, and hate it most when it's raining. Ugh!
In my heart, I had to grab this chance when the boy still wants to come home as often as he could.
I know that time will come when our children will be too busy with their careers, and in the not-so-far future, with their own families. Coming home might be a once a year thing, or maybe very seldom if they will live so far away from home.
I was probably driving for over two hours. We were caught in traffic due to an accident on our way there.
My right leg felt numb when we got home.
The boy updated me with his college life last weekend. He also told me about his friends, and their girlfriends. Talking face to face is always better than talking on the phone, in my opinion.
Our house always feel warmer when our children are home.
Monday, October 1, 2018
Ayaw! [a-yao]
I have been dealing with this kind of people for days. I just can't take them.
Temporarily unplugging them from my life. I wish to do it permanently though, but I just can't.
I wouldn't mind cautious criticisms especially from somebody experienced and learned. It makes me strong. It makes me think and discover ways for improvements.
In this case, does the silence means 'not approved?' Well, I know that their thank yous aren't really expected, but it would be extremely nice to receive them too.
Should I just bake exclusively for the family?
I think that's the plan from now on.
Definitely!
According to Oprah, "Everybody wants validation!"
That's true, and this applies to me and my goodies.
😄
In case you don't know what that is, it's canned cooked meat also known as luncheon meat. Back when I eat solely to satisfy my hunger and not really conscious of what I put in my mouth is nutritious, I would sear an 8th inch thick slice of spam with its own grease until it turns brown and crispy on the outside, served with steamed Jasmine rice, and sunny side up eggs, and with a tall glass of iced Coca Cola on the side.
Me: Pops, I am craving for Spam. 😔
Him: Don't!
The mister's reply was very short, stern, and clear. He undoubtedly switched off my craving.
I didn't get his support and approval, yet I am especially grateful that I am still on the wagon. He is indeed my reinforcement, motivation, and inspiration for my self improvement healthwise.
I haven't gained pounds which is really good. But what's best though is to lose some more. Currently working on the last 15 lbs.
Wish me luck, and send me prayers.
Friday, September 14, 2018
Hi.
I have been busy with work, and fixing and cleaning the house. Done with the guest and the boy's room. Currently doing the young lady's room. After hers will be our room.
From cleaning,
It has been almost a month also since the boy moved to college. It's been quiet in our house but Raffy Tulfo and Nina Taduran (a Filipino radio show duo) has been accompanying me during the day. I don't pay too much attention to them though. I just let them talk and do their thing while I am busy with work.
Talking with the cats has been a constant thing also. Last night, I heard the mister talking while I was in the other room. I hurriedly went to the dining room where he was sitting. I didn't realize he was talking to Bowie the cat. I honestly thought he was telling me something.
The boy has adjusted life living away from home. His best friend Christian who's also in a college near the boy's, sends me text messages sometimes, and that he has met the boy's roommates. He said, "I went to Jason's apartment on Saturday, and stayed for the night. I really like his friends. I'm going back this Friday."
That's so good to know.
I think he's already there now for the sleepover.
FYI, if I can't contact the boy, Christian is my 24-hour hotline to relay messages to him.
With Yna, I have her forever best friend Sammy, and her boyfriend, Larry. Before she graduated from college, Diane her roommate was included in the list too. She is, I think, in Hawaii now.
By the way, my kids came home on Labor Day weekend. Yna's boyfriend came too. He is always welcome at home. All of their friends are.
I baked goods for them to take back to their respective apartments. A baker's dozen of freshly baked Ube ensaymada and charcoal loaf bread for the young lady. Four mini loaves of chocolate zucchini breads and two dozen of peanut and chocolate chip cookies for the boy. I also sent cooked chicken longganisa for the boy. I made sure it was chicken because one of his roommates doesn't eat pork for religious reasons. You know, just in case he'd like to try a Filipino sausage.
Two days after, the boy told me that they loved the longganisa.
By the way, he is the only Filipino in their apartment, but not the only Asian though.
Since it's just the mister and I now, we have been eating mostly vegetables, and occasionally fish for the mister. But sad to say, I have not been able to exercise or do my daily walks. It's been almost a week since it's raining.
I guess, I'll just dance to Latin Workout Radio on Pandora in our kitchen later.
TGIF!
Friday, June 1, 2018
Ruffled Feathers
Before I discovered maturity, I would probably retaliate, without really thinking that these talks might be only hearsay. And especially if there was proof, I would likely fight in the most vicious way I could to break this person's spirit.
I'd get mad, and I'd get even.
For the past two days, I thought hard why the mention of my name this time didn't make me lift a finger. I am not angry at all, and not irked even a little. The attempt to ruffle my feathers wasn't successful.
Wow! I have grown. I definitely know now when to go to battle or choose peace over a juvenile kind of clash between adults. I know now what is worthy of my time.
I know what's my truth. I choose peace, and I choose to invest more on respect and optimism.
Great job, Lili!
#nosibalasi
Thursday, May 24, 2018
He Listens
I really thought that he doesn't listen to me. Sometimes.
Although I know that he slightly nods his head or sort of lifts his brow to agree with me when I say something to him. But, I always want a louder and bolder 'Yes.'
It makes me feel like that he's not really interested with what I am saying. Most of the time, I wonder if he's really listening.
Yesterday, I saw a bubble envelope from Amazon. I asked him what it was.
"It's a new cellphone case for your phone."
I dropped a tear or two while I was putting down the rest of the mail on the table in the family room. I was just so happy.
Last Sunday, he saw that my cellphone case had cracks on almost every corner when I asked him to help me get my cellphone from my back pocket. It got stuck, and I needed to check my message immediately because I got a new offer for an item I was selling on Ebay.
He does pay attention to even the tiniest thing. He's been like that ever since, and I guess, sometimes, I forget.
For many years, I have been writing that Valentine's Day or any special occasion celebrated by everybody isn't really that significant for me because those are holidays that you are made to feel special expectedly. What truly matter most is how I am treated for the rest of year.
I am on cloud nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine.
Friday, May 18, 2018
Yo!
The light at the end of it is still on. It looks nearer. It's brighter.
I am sincerely grateful for sending prayers my way.
I'll drink warm water with ginger today. For now, I am holding myself from singing along in the car with Eraserhead's popular 90s song, Magasin.
The boy loves to hear his father's music collection. The mister brought most of his CD collection when we moved here in 1998.
Right now, I sound like I am a heavy smoker , or a character from a horror movie. or maybe a rockstar. I think I prefer the latter.
A post shared by mordecai rigby & bowie (@threelittlemimings) on
There is also flooding in some parts of our town. My allergist's office got flooded too. Yesterday, this was posted on their Facebook page.
"Dear all: The damage from flooding to our office is extensive. We will be closed until further notice. Please pray for us!"









