Thoughts

In deaths and losses, I always try to dwell on what we learn from the experience. When Alan passed away, I was reminded ...

- to nurture relationships that matter.

- that real friends wouldn't doubt you --- your honesty, sincerity, and your loyalty.

- that quantity doesn't mean good quality. That's true with relationships.

- to always take care of your health. It's true, health is wealth.

- to keep fighting for dear life. Giving up is never an option.

- to stay true to yourself. You don't want people to love your sugarcoated-you. Don't be superficial.

- to be generous with your smiles and hugs. Say "I love yous" too and mean it.

-  to laugh a lot.

- that it is also okay to cry.

- to always bring a tissue or the traditional old fashioned handkerchief. Wiping tears using a bathroom paper hand towel is rough on the skin.

- that it is also good to be different.

- to have your portrait taken. Get it updated once in awhile, not for Facebook and Instagram purposes only, but for your wake. We may have different ways and different times of getting out, but remember nobody gets out alive.We are all heading there ---to the exit!

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After the prayer for Alan at the ICU, when we left the room...

Me: Miss Lei, naa diay koy picture ni Alan. Kadtong akong kuha sa iyang 50th birthday. Basin nangita mo ug portrait niya ba para sa haya. Basin pwede 'to. (Miss Lei, by the way, I have a photograph of Alan. The one I took on his 50th birthday. You might be looking for a photo for his wake. You can consider it.)

Lea: Kita na ko adto, Yani! Ako ng giforward sa among group chat. (I saw that already, Yani. I already forwarded it to our group chat.)

Me: Miss, magpa picture na ta ug tarong oy. Pa professional portrait ta ni Jay ba! (Miss, it's about time to have our picture taken properly. We'll let Jay take our portrait professionally.)

Lea: Ngano man? (Why?)

Me: Kay kung kita na pod mamatay naa tay tarung picture. Kita ra raba sige mangodak. (So when it's our time to die we have a proper picture already. It's always us that takes photos.)

Lea: Hala bitaw Yani no?! Buang man ka oy! Hehehehe. Akong mga picture ra ba kay puro dahon, mga kahoy ra, mga kabayo ug mga nature. (Oh! Yeah! You're crazy. Hehehe. All my photos are of leaves, trees, horses and nature.)

Me: Nawa ra! Ang-ang man ug imong picture sa lamay kay litrato ug fall or mga kabayo sa baybayon? (See! Don't tell me your wake picture will be a picture of fall season or horses by the seashore!)

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Friday afternoon conversation with the little sister in Australia...

Charmaine: Nakarealize pod ko nga wa koy tarung nga portrait. (I also realized that I don't have a proper portrait.)

Me: Bitaw! That is something I never thought about until pagkamatay ni Alan. (I agree. That is something I never thought until Alan died.)

Charmaine: Kasagaran gatalikod akong photo. (Almost all of my photos are facing away.)

Here are examples of her photos 1, 2, 3

Me: ...and you know na nga particular ta ug mag post ug mga gwapa nga Facebook ug Instagram photos, and then chaka-boombastic atong wake portrait photo. QUE HORROR! (...and you know that we are particular of only posting beautiful photos on Facebook and Instagram, and the our wake photo is ugly. How awful!)

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After reading my tribute post to Alan...

Charmaine:  "That was Alan!" ....nakahilakon ko pero na distract ko sa steamed bananas. (I almost cried but I got distracted with the steamed bananas.)