The Best Gift Ever I Gave Myself

Hi. I don't normally show my face on this blog, but this time I will. Growing up, I was never a skinny girl. In my teens until college, I was a medium. But after I gave birth to my daughter, I started gaining weight. I probably gained about 10 lbs. Then after I had my second child, a son, I gained another 10.

And years after that, I gained more and more. It was really hard to dress up because in my mind I was still a medium. In my harsh reality, I was an extra large already. I fit a size 14. It always felt like when we go to places, my fat tummy would always arrive first than the rest of my body. The bulge was obvious even in photos, and that was why I didn't like my photo taken.

I tried taking pills for weight loss. I had varieties of teas for that purpose too. I even starved myself. I tried everything that I thought could help me to lose the weight.

The other year, I had enough. I started reading and watching documentaries. What I learned from there, I started applying them in my life.

I turned away anything that promised weight loss, and that included tea, coffee, shakes, and pills. I had new priorities-- the healthier choices, exercise, and a better list of goals. There is no such thing as instant gratification. I don't starve to lose the weight, in fact I always eat. I also don't count calories. For exercise, I bike around our cul de sac for about 30 minutes on my lunch break. I also walk outside for another half an hour or more in the afternoon. If the weather doesn't permits, I dance to Latin workout music before dinner.

Everytime I tell people that my food choices have changed, they would always raise their brows, and would always ask me, "Are you a vegetarian now?" I just tell them that I eat more plant based food , and less meat and processed food on weekdays. On weekends, sometimes a bite or two of an egg or have a half of a piece of bacon, a quarter of a donut, a couple of bites of fried fish or pork barbecue, but still I choose conciously to eat more fruits and vegetables.

Some would tease me that I eat cow and goat food. I did not care because my body loved the choices I made. Going to the bathroom was always a success. My blood lab results are not perfect yet but it is just a point less, and I'm be there. I am not as sickly as before, and if I do get sick, recovery doesn't take long.

I always prefer to eat at home because I have realized that preparing my food is the best. I know what I put in it. I also get to experiment and tweak recipes to be a full plant based dish. My sister in Australia always ask me to share my new and healthier Filipino recipes. She's the only one who is interested in all the changes I did in my life. I will really try to share them when I have the time.

This was me at my heaviest.

Today, I bought a fitted lite jacket. In the previous years, I would never choose this style of clothing because I knew it wouldn't zip up due to a protruding tummy. I chose a medium because last year, I was that size already---a medium. It makes me so happy to write that that I am a medium. But, the mister always disagrees. He thinks I am a small (read it here), which I think is just his hallucinations. I took a medium from the rack, and again the mister said it looked too big for me. When I tried it on, it was loose. I had to close my eyes, crossed my fingers and tried a small that the mister got ready for me even before I tried the bigger size on. For the first time in my life, I fit a small. The tag says SMALL! I cried and hugged the mister. I felt like I just won the lotto. I couldn't believe it. It is NOT impossible. (Of course, it would be better-er if we really hit the lotto!)

I do not know how much I weigh now because for a long time our weighing scale is broken. I still would like to lose some inches in some parts of my body, with determination, focus on my goals, eating right, and exercise, I know I will achieve that. I must believe in myself because the mister does.

This is me now!



For the first time in my entire life, I have a piece of clothing that the tag says "SMALL".

SMALL! It felt really good to write that word!