The Mister At Work

I have been lacking sleep since this coronavirus outbreak reached Maryland.

I am scared, especially for the boy and me. You see, we are at a higher risk of getting sick. Our immune systems are compromised, and although we have been going through immunotherapy for almost a year.

When the news broke that the first case was in Montgomery County, I specifically asked the mister to not kiss or hug me when he gets home from work, and only until he washes and changes would he be free to do it.

For two days, he wasn't in the mood. He was so frugal with his conversations with me. It was in the 'super cold-shoulder' level.

But on Wednesday, March 19, he brought home a keyboard and other stuff from work and happily broke the news that he can work from home already.

He works in the family room and sometimes in the dining room with me. By the way, we both dress up for work and not in our pajamas. We share supawvisors now—Mordecai, Rigby, and Bowie. Since working from home, the three cats have been lounging and hanging out by his side of the workplace.

In the 30 years we're in a relationship, I learned that when he works, he really works. He isn't easily distracted. I can't chat with him or hang out in his space. He would totally ignore me...

...well, except when I serve lunch and offer mid-afternoon snacks.

She was her name

She is one of the Filipino wives of the mister's colleagues. I only see her during company gatherings, but I am not really chatty with her.

In spring of 2011, she added me on Facebook. But what's odd is in that summer, she approached me. She asked, "What's your name?"

Odd, right? If you are unfamiliar with me or lack prior knowledge of who I am, what would motivate you to add me on social media?

Even before the coronavirus pandemic, I had been practicing social isolation for a long time. As a result, she only came to know me more through Facebook, and likewise. I only attend company events twice a year. 

For other gatherings, I can honestly say, we're not on the list. In a previous post, I write that I am thankful for that, because there's no invitation to decline.

Sometimes, we would talk on private messenger. And the last time we chatted, I vividly remembered that she asked to have a taste of my homemade breads. I willingly obliged.

I told myself to give her half a dozen. Well, I have never given away my home-baked goods in scarcity, and sometimes I also send another variety of bread like Ensaymada. Also, I usually enclose handwritten notes to send with it.

"Free return shipping if you're not happy or satisfied with this bread."

          "Didn't reach your expectations? Send it back. No hurt 'fillings'."

or

"In times like these, just bread in and bread out."

Something like that.

Last January, a friend asked me to contact her husband through her. They're on the invite list for a 60th birthday top-secret surprise celebration of our friend, Leo.

I tried to send her a message but this time, it didn't go through. Maybe, she deactivated her account. I was planning to bake Spanish bread one Sunday evening, and thought of sending her some. At long last, she'd be able to taste my homemade bread.

On February 29, I asked Dayang, also a wife of the mister's colleague if they're friends on Facebook, but she said they're not.

This time, I had a feeling that She blocked me.

Today, I learned that she blocked me indeed.

I'm not new to this. She treated another acquaintance in the same way. In actuality, their bond was  way closer than ours.

I am baking bread again, and waiting for the dough to proof. There will be no bread put to waste, of course. Hehehehe.

We'll bread it in, and bread it out.

Thank goodness! I am really thankful to those people who have made life easier. Blocking me are her honest feelings towards my existence—possibly just my online presence. Who knows?

There's no need for trimming the unnecessary fat anymore. They all just fell off by themselves. 

Lastly, good riddance, and thank you!

Error

Last night, I dreamt of people that have bailed out from my life.

The scene was at an old church. The Filipino priest had a mullet hair and was mean to me. I was looking for my assigned seat when he called my attention. Most people were seated already, and the priest and his entourage were waiting for the start of the  procession which meant the mass hadn't started yet.

I got mad. I scowled at him, and told him, "You are a servant of God, and why are you behaving like you aren't? You are in His house. Why are you disrespecting him?"

Then I walked away before he could answer me. I continued walking towards the other side of the church.

I saw the mister at Pew D, which is about 3 pews away from the pianist and the church choir. Seats were assigned base on the first letter of your last name. When I was nearing him, I saw all the people that walked away from my life, L,J, N, and A--- all of them were sitting in the same pew with him.

The seat was tight, but I managed to squeeze in. I sat beside him at the first space nearest the aisle. I wasn't really ready to chit-chat with all those people or even say a fake hello, but I looked at each one of them in the eye.

Well, I tried.

L was laughing awkwardly with J and A, and N just looked down when I came.

I was disappointed that they sat at pew D when all of them weren't assigned in that pew. And also, they were noisy. They were talking and laughing with each other except for N. He just looked down the whole time.

When the Holy Mass started, I saw a distant cousin, Jerry. He came from the back of the altar, walking towards our pew.  He was bringing a collection woven basket with a sign attached at the front that boldly said, "ERROR."

That was the end of my dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In my reality:

J - Last time I heard from her was when her mother died. She just stopped communicating, and avoided me from that time on.

N - I haven't talked with him since last quarter of last year. His last words hurled towards me came with an F word (READ: rhymes with DUCK). He said his life had been very peaceful until I reached out.

L - She deleted me from her Facebook friends' list because I am still communicating with her brother. She loathed him. She unflinchingly threatened to kill him numerous times. Their clash is between them, and I have nothing to do with it. She is powered by the scorching heat from hell.

A - She had a different take on how to handle things. She could have handled it differently. Instead of talking it out, she opted to walk away because she was too proud to leave her gargantuan ego at the door.

I approached all of them at one point in my life, and I really tried to talk to them to settle whatever misunderstandings we had. I swallowed my pride, and tried my hardest to close the gap, and hopefully avoid further estrangement.

I didn't walk away. I didn't bail.

They did.