RIP Alan

A dear friend of ours has been in and out of the hospital for awhile. On Monday, the mister sent me a message via Viber that Alan is in the ICU and in very serious condition. He also said that he'd get out of work early so we can visit him.

Alan is one of the people that I look forward to seeing and hanging out with during company events. He's a colleague of the mister. He is also a very dear friend of my close friends from Cebu. In these office events, when Fe or Leo sees me or Jay, they'd always ask, "Yan, naa na si Alan?" (Yan, is Alan already here?) or "Kita ka ni Alan?" (Did you see Alan?). That is also the case when Alan sees Jay and me, he'd look for Leo and his wife, Fe.

Also in these events, we sit together around in one table during meal time. It's Leo and Fe, Jay and I, and Alan. Sometimes some of their officemates would join too. Because Alan is considered Mr. Congeniality in the office, he sometimes couldn't join us, but he always leaves dessert and coffee so he could be with our table.

Monday. I sent a text message to two of my friends, Lea and Fe, for updates. I learned, that visitors weren't allowed yet. By Tuesday, Lea told me to visit Alan because his condition had worsened. She couldn't come due to her work. By the way, Lea is my 24-hour-hotline friend. If our friendship is a country, she's considered a national treasure.

"Please, Yani. Tell Alan I love him.", she told me on the phone while we were both crying. She's the only one who calls me Yani, and I call her Miss Lei. Leo, Fe, Lea and Alan have been friends since the 80s, or maybe earlier.

When we came into Alan's room, I said hi. He turned his head towards Jay and I. He couldn't talk anymore because of the tube in his mouth. I held his arm for the last time. There were many times in the past that he wouldn't let me hug him due to his treatments. He would just let me shake his hand and sometimes not even at all.

I also told him twice Lea's message for him. He tried to opened his eyes every time we talked to him even if his eyes were yellow and so puffy already. I guess that was the effect when his kidney collapsed. The nurse said that they could give him eye drops but the side effect was he'd have blurred vision. He opted not to have the eye medicine because, according to the nurse, he wanted to see his visitors. We also thanked him for considering us his dear friends inspite of the many friends he has. That night, his recovery was very bleak. I told him that if he wanted to go, he can and we'd really miss him. He has been ready for that moment to be called back to where we all came from. He was vocal about it, but he fought his disease as long and as hard as he could.

Wednesday. When the mister arrived from work, he asked me if Lea had her last chance to visit Alan. It was decided that they'd end his life support that night. I called Lea for updates. The first ring, she picked up and told me right away that she was in the hospital already, "YANI, ARI NA MO NI JAY BI! SIGE NA! DALI MO!" (Yani, can you and Jay come here now! Please! Come over!). The boys had just finished dinner when she told us that. I only took 2 bites of my steamed bananas and drove as quick as we could to the hospital. Well, it seemed like we flew to Shady Grove Adventist Hospital.

Last night at the visitors' lobby at the ICU, while waiting for the pastor for the prayer for the dying, Lea and Rhett  (a colleague of Leo, Jay and Alan) met. Finally. They have a lot of common friends but never actually met except on Facebook when I introduced them to each other in April of 2010. They came from the same place in Cebu. Last night, Lea learned that Rhett's gardening teacher was her mother. Judy, Lea's niece was a Church co-choir member with Rhett before. Despite last night's circumstances, we met new friends and reconnected with the old ones.

At 10:55 pm, we bade farewell to Alan. Some of us came back to his room after his life support ended. I will really miss him. He was a joker, but if you didn't really know him, you'd get annoyed with his punch lines. That was Alan.

The last time he posted (a repost) on his Facebook account was on October 8 on his 57th birthday, it said, "When you are dead, you do not know that you are dead. All of the pain is felt by others. The same thing happens when you are stupid."

For the coming office events, I will just think that he moved to a different company so I don't have to look for him. The best kind where he doesn't need to get off of work because he must go constantly to his doctors or to the hospital. Before, I didn't go to these overnight events because my kids were still young. By the time when I could go with the mister, I told Alan that I felt scared and awkward because I didn't really know a lot of people there. He assured me that there is always Fe and him.


(photo taken on October 9, 2009 at Leo and Fe's house on his 50th birthday)

We meet a lot of people in life. It's a non-stop journey with ups and downs. Some are better to remain acquaintances, and some are totally cut-off from our lives. Some relationships are better like that. But definitely some of them become our friends, and friends like families. We are all just visitors here. Some must leave earlier, but they remain in our memories and in our hearts.

In a big world with billions and billions of people in it, it was an honor to have cross paths with you. I will miss you. We will all miss you.

Rest in peace, Alan Serohijos. October 8, 1959 - November 2, 2016