Why Jay?

My mother called me after she got the non-medical grade fabric face masks I sent her in California. I also reminded her not to go grocery shopping, and to have someone do it for her, and so many more reminders.

And then, out of the blue, she asked me why I chose Jay. She asked me that question maybe because the mister and I would be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary on the same date today, in March.

Her marriage with my father didn't work. From the outside looking in, it looked like it was a struggle to keep it afloat in the close to 30  years they were together. But most of those years, they spent them apart from each other. 

I really think that among her 4 children, that question was only thrown at me. 

"He didn't grab my things, or even offered to carry them for me one time he picked me up from my last class for the day (circa 1990, 2nd year in college). He didn't see me as helpless."

It was simple as that. 

I liked it that  he saw me as strong, and not as some damsel in pretend-distress.

He was  just different, unlike some guys that showed some interest in me.  

That gesture wouldn't make my heart pitter patter like in movies. I hated it. In fact, I'd get annoyed, and felt like I would want to puke. 

Such a major turn off.

Did I look helpless that they needed to carry my things? 

I didn't even like a guy who'd carry my purse even when I would need to go in the ladies room. 

And on top of him not treating me helpless, he didn't leave me even if I showed him my worst behavior, and most of those times they were unreasonable. 

The first time my father met him as my boyfriend, he got so worried. He was worried, not for me but for Jay.

It wasn't a secret in the family, in our neighborhood, and our entire clan that I had anger issues---that I was maldita kaayo (extremely mean). 

In a group of mean girls, I'd be the leader, except that I didn't think I was a bully. I fought bullies, but I always worked alone.

I didn't know how to express and communicate my feelings and my thoughts, but I could express them through anger and tantrums in words meant to kill spirits, and in evil looks and glances.

I didn't have close friends except for my siblings. 

But Jay treated me differently.  He treated me as his best friend.

When we were about at our 2nd decade of marriage, I really didn't put them into words all these years until my daughter asked him who's his best friend. 

"Your mama." he answered her proudly.

One time at a party, I couldn't find Jay, so I asked a friend Alan (RIP Alan) who I met at the stairs on his way up if the mister was downstairs. Then he yelled down and said, "Jay, gipangita ka sa imong kumander in chip!" (Jay, your commander in chief is looking for you.)

Was that a joke? 

I wasn't laughing. 

I also don't like when Filipino wives refers their husbands as their eldest son.

Come on! That's disrespectful to your mother-in-law. And even if it's a joke, it's still not funny. 

The mister treated me as his partner---with equal footing.

I am not Jay's commander. I am his partner.

He is not my eldest son. He is my partner. 

We are each others best friend. We are each others puzzle piece.

Those are some reasons why I chose him. 

Shy no more?

Right before the turn of the New Year, the young lady's tratu (boyfriend) Larry came to spend that part of the holidays with us. This isn't his first time celebrating with us, but his third time.

He was working remotely from our dining room.  His office is in New York. Yna was peeking at his work on his laptop, and all of a sudden, the lady came rushing to the family room from the living room, and blurted out...

"PA! PA! You should read this line from Gabriel Garcia Marquez's book for their podcast."

Well, if you don't personally know the mister, he is really shy---a polar opposite of me. 

Yna’s tratu had actually asked her if the mister would be interested in doing a voice over for their show. He said that the mister’s soft, even voice would be perfect for the lines, and Jay is also a big fan of Marquez’s books.

While I was cooking, Yna begged me to convince her father. With all my faith, power, and might, I told him...

"Jay, like what I have been telling Tata (my sister in Australia), let us do the impossible for 2020. Doing a voice over is something new for you. Do it! It's not something you'll do in front of a crowd."

He wasn't convinced yet. Yna asked me to talk to him more. So, I added...

"Do you know anyone who works for a radio station or any media as big as NPR? Do you know anyone who'll have the same opportunity and experience as this? Just remember, a lot of our friends doesn't even know what NPR is."

It's the truth. I don't know a lot of people who know about the National Public Radio (NPR), which is one of the many Apex companies in America. The mister is a listener---from news, to old radio soap operas, to classical music. Most of all, he's a fan of Tiny Desk Concerts. With me, I listen with him on long road trips, but I am more of a podcast listener. I listen to Throughline on most of my daily afternoon walks.

"By the way, don't tell Papa that the episode is for this year's season premiere." the young lady whispered to me. 

After investing a lot of my convincing power, coupled with unlimited back massage bribery, not to forget, Yna's potent persuasion,  guess what?

He agreed to do it.

Even before the episode was published, we were all so happy, excited, and proud of the shy-no-more mister.

Early morning of January 9, Larry sent me a text message with a link of the episode for the mister's 'voice actor debut.'

Throughline is NPR's first History podcast, premiered last year in February. Yna's tratu is one of the producers.

Listen to the episode here, click play below. You can also read the transcript here.


 On the evening that the podcast was aired, I was getting ready for my bed when...

"OMG! I can't believe that Christopher  Columbus had..."

...that he had ____ !" finished the mister. 

You'll find out what it is if you listen to it. Hehehe.

My sister in Australia is a fan of the podcast now. She's listening to the first episode at this very moment. Her only wish is that it'll be available on Australia Spotify one of these days.

And also, our last name is perfectly said by the host, Rund.