A Farewell

The mister was hired from the Philippines 20 years ago this year to work for a company based in Maryland. We also came to the US in the summer of that same year.

The man who interviewed him in Cebu, Philippines, and hired him died last weekend. He is a significant figure and reason why we are here in America.

I remember that I would get uneasy on the many company occasions that we were seated in one table. You see, I don't know about their company. Well, I kind of know, but not really. I am in an industry that is totally different from theirs. Therefore, I can not join conversations if the topic is about work.

I remember vividly that one exact moment many years ago, he assured the people around the table that the company wasn't affected by the current job cuts and losses of many companies in America that year, and that the company still was doing great.

I also can not forget that one time he was telling a story about one of his visits in Cebu, Philippines. While doing his morning run near Cebu Plaza Hotel, an askal (a street dog) chased him.

I remember, one time, Fe and I just came from the ladies' room, and I even remembered what I wore that time when we bumped into him by the open bar. She is the wife of Leo, a Filipino who has been in the company for a long time, and who's the reason that a lot of Filipinos were hired from the Philippines in the 90s. He is also a dear friend of the boss. Fe asked the boss with a blue silk necktie if he knew me. I lightly elbowed her. I found her question so awkward for me and for him too.

 He answered Fe,

   "Of course! She's Jay's wife!"

* big deep sigh! That was such a relief. Her intention was to introduce me to the big boss, but by his answer, there was no need for that.

Really? How? There are hundreds of his employees, and add the wives to that too. This was really a surprise because that event probably was the first few times I went with the mister to company gatherings.

Yesterday was his memorial service. I am thankful that I was able to get a ride with a friend who has worked for the company many years ago. He cancelled all his morning meetings to be able to attend the gathering. Although not an owner of a company, but I guess it is good to be the boss. Hehehehe.

The previous night, I got an inquiry for an item to be shipped ASAP first thing in the morning of Friday to New York via Fed-Ex for a magazine cover photo shoot. The customer was a famous photographer who've worked with some of my favorite renowned photographers. Sadly, I had to turn down the order because I couldn't meet his requirement. I have some rush orders but we're all ready for pick up by the mailman by noon the following day. I couldn't squeeze in his order because I have to drive to purchase shipping and drop it off at his required shipping carrier. His one major requirement was to ship the item to a shipping carrier that my shop does not offer. I couldn't be late at the agreed time for my friend to pick me up. I guess, I can also say it is also good to be the boss. Hehehehe.

There will be more orders and sales in the future, but I couldn't miss the chance to be at the mister's big boss' one and only memorial service. I am in no way directly connected to the company, but for me, one shouldn't find excuses not to be there, and one must find all the reasons to be there. He has done so much to many of us. He is indeed a great loss to a big company he built in 1968 from the ground up of 200 employees, in 10 offices that are located in 3 different countries. That was what I learned from the memorial service shared by his son yesterday.

That is indeed laudable!

To Jerrold Van Winter, I sincerely thank you for the chance, the opportunity, and the trust you gave to many of your employees especially to the immigrants, for your generosity, your great leadership, and your kindness. It is not only your employees that have benefited from your goodness, but the families of your employees as well. Coming to America was a piece of cake compared to what many immigrants have to go through. We were able to build our homes, live comfortably, and achieve dreams here, and that also includes the dreams and endless opportunities of our children. Your generosity, leadership, and faith in people is your legacy, and we are forever grateful to you, Sir Jerry.

Rest in peace.

September 2, 2022 - Jersey Number 01

I was chatting with a female friend at a food court in a mall in the Philippines. It was noon but we were only having a tall glass of cold lemonade.

A group of young college men wearing green jerseys with big bold black numbers at the back passed by our table. They were happily talking among each other on their way to the counter. It seemed like they just won the game.

Then, I noticed the slightly long haired guy with soft curls at the tips. He was wearing the number 01. He kept staring at me.

I just thought that he was mesmerized by my big black jeweled statement eyeglasses. I continued talking with my friend. I was so engrossed in telling her about vintage fashion and about growing your own food for security.

The group of young men passed us by once more on their way to the big table adjacent to the fountain where a big Trident concrete statue stood on top. My friend recognized one of them and waved at him. She said that was Jerry.

Then, I caught number 01 intently looking at me. Again.

He just couldn't take his eyes off me. It seemed like he knew me or probably he saw me somewhere. For sure it was not from my blogs and vlogs because I can count with my fingers the people who watch and read them.

I stared back at him. This is a stare down and I don't back out from it, I told myself.

His eyes lit up suddenly, then he smiled.

Before he could say anything, I blurted out...

((( TOKNOY! )))

It was Jay's first cousin, Toknoy. I wouldn't recognize him if he didn't dare to stare down. The last time I saw him was when he was a young school boy.

I hurriedly dragged him to meet Jay somewhere in the mall.

By the way, I hate going to malls in the Philippines. They're mostly a mile long and a half. It was already evening when we came out from the parking garage.

I told Jay of my dream last night, about meeting Toknoy by chance.

He said, "Actually, he is called Botoknoy (for long)."

Of all of Jay's cousins, I don't know why I dreamt of him.

You see, among all of the Divinagracias, I consider myself close to Mae. She became attached to me the first time I met her. I remember in 1995 to 1996 when Jay and I were newly married, she would call me in Davao City via long distance to Tagbilaran. She would let her younger cousins take their turns to talk to me too. Toknoy was one of them.

She called me countless times until she was caught one time by her Auntie Yoly. Soon after that, she moved to America with her brother, Mike.

My dream last night was in High-Definition. It was in vivid colors plus I could honestly smell the lemon in every sip of my lemonade at the food court.

Error

Last night, I dreamt of people that have bailed out from my life.

The scene was at an old church. The Filipino priest had a mullet hair and was mean to me. I was looking for my assigned seat when he called my attention. Most people were seated already, and the priest and his entourage were waiting for the start of the  procession which meant the mass hadn't started yet.

I got mad. I scowled at him, and told him, "You are a servant of God, and why are you behaving like you aren't? You are in His house. Why are you disrespecting him?"

Then I walked away before he could answer me. I continued walking towards the other side of the church.

I saw the mister at Pew D, which is about 3 pews away from the pianist and the church choir. Seats were assigned base on the first letter of your last name. When I was nearing him, I saw all the people that walked away from my life, L,J, N, and A--- all of them were sitting in the same pew with him.

The seat was tight, but I managed to squeeze in. I sat beside him at the first space nearest the aisle. I wasn't really ready to chit-chat with all those people or even say a fake hello, but I looked at each one of them in the eye.

Well, I tried.

L was laughing awkwardly with J and A, and N just looked down when I came.

I was disappointed that they sat at pew D when all of them weren't assigned in that pew. And also, they were noisy. They were talking and laughing with each other except for N. He just looked down the whole time.

When the Holy Mass started, I saw a distant cousin, Jerry. He came from the back of the altar, walking towards our pew.  He was bringing a collection woven basket with a sign attached at the front that boldly said, "ERROR."

That was the end of my dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In my reality:

J - Last time I heard from her was when her mother died. She just stopped communicating, and avoided me from that time on.

N - I haven't talked with him since last quarter of last year. His last words hurled towards me came with an F word (READ: rhymes with DUCK). He said his life had been very peaceful until I reached out.

L - She deleted me from her Facebook friends' list because I am still communicating with her brother. She loathed him. She unflinchingly threatened to kill him numerous times. Their clash is between them, and I have nothing to do with it. She is powered by the scorching heat from hell.

A - She had a different take on how to handle things. She could have handled it differently. Instead of talking it out, she opted to walk away because she was too proud to leave her gargantuan ego at the door.

I approached all of them at one point in my life, and I really tried to talk to them to settle whatever misunderstandings we had. I swallowed my pride, and tried my hardest to close the gap, and hopefully avoid further estrangement.

I didn't walk away. I didn't bail.

They did.